the haunt.

But I will go on. I will go to do human things. I will drive a car, I will consider mountain biking and pretend I am extreme. I will go outside and pretend it is lovely out. I will go to college and pretend it matters. I will remember what is beautiful, and then comment on it and pretend that it is true. Lets meet up and talk for awhile. I will smile and nod so that you think I am listening.
I am the first to arrive at this funeral, you see? No-----You cannot watch this. When I come back I will do human things to be just like you! I will shop and comment on world events. We should throw a party so that nobody gets suspicious of our true nature. Lets search together! We will find the answers to why it all happened and when we cannot lets make some up. And think of a joke to keep them entertained. That is all they want is to be entertained. Its what humans do! So when they ask you about it, tell them something simple..tell them it was life changing…tell them it was anything….but what it was….Trust me friend they do not want to hear the truth, they want to be entertained. So write them poems and songs and start a club so that we can all heal together.
I will worry about my health, I will pick up a habit, I will talk about goals, I will take pictures of my kids, I will act like you have something important to say to me, I will act like I care about your problems. I will let you believe I take you seriously, we should save the world, we should recycle, we should use hand sanitizer. I should invest. I should walk a dog and plant a tree and pretend I care about Africa.
We should make love! We should make love and I will tell you it was amazing. I will do all the things that humans do and you will believe it. You will believe it because you want to believe it, because if you did not you would have to confront it and that is not our way. Best to bury it. I will bury it and pretend that I am human.
But I am not human, we are not human, they are not human. You see, there was a funeral . He left and could not find his way back and so we are the living dead among you. I am the ghost. I am the haunt, the vision, the mystic, the marvel.
I am your burden.
The ghost.
I will drift among you but you will not see me.
I will scream at the top of my lungs until you hear a whisper.
I will creep among the hallways all night.
I am nocturnal.
I am the ghost, you see? Can you watch me float here? Can you see me long for what you have? Can you see me hate you?
We are the dead among you.
I am the great pretender.
The only survivor in a fantastic land.
I am the result of your flag waving patriotism, I am the result of your quick solution, your billion yellow ribbon magnets. I am your shame, your reckoning, your hasty mistake, I am your lie you chose to believe when you sent me on my way. I hate your face and your thanks and your handshake and your gratitude and your slogans. I hate your parades your fireworks your antiqued American flag you have hanging on the front porch. I will spit venom. I will hate you and haunt you and blame you the rest of my days.
And no one hears us.
There was a funeral, a match was struck
And all of it was just a whisper.